How can you be sure you look like a tourist when in Hawai'i?

√ No matter how hot it is, always wear black shoes with black socks when you wear shorts.  And always have your shirt tucked in.

√ Always call the mainland the “States,” and then try and figure out which country Hawai'i is in.

√ Rent a convertible, drive it very slowly, and always look everywhere except at the road.

√ Speak Spanish when you don’t understand the local dialect.

√ Mispronounce all the Hawaiian words, then give up, thinking they all sound the same anyway.

√ While at the north shore of any island in the middle of summer, stop and ask where the big winter waves are.

√ Before drinking from a water fountain, ask if the water should be boiled first.

√ When windsurfing in the middle of summer, when the water is well over 85 degrees, always wear a full-length wetsuit and hood.

√ Above all, have fun!

Aloha!